Perhaps it has been on your mind for a while. You might be quite happy in your family life, but you feel like you still have a lot of love to give, or you feel like you yearn for the feeling of nurturing a baby in your belly again. However, if this isn’t your first rodeo (and maybe even far from it), there are talks you and your partner need to have before rolling full steam ahead with your plans.
Are you ready?
The challenges of having a child might all seem like old hat, now. This is especially true if you feel like you’ve picked up all the skills you need as a mother. However, another child isn’t just another go-around. It adds a whole heap of new responsibilities on top of those that you currently have. As such, if your life is currently facing a great of upheaval or you find yourself stressed dealing with the brood you already have, you need to think of how you’re going to manage while adding onto the pile.
Address the medical reality
Our bodies do not stay the same. Even if you had your last child without any issue, you have aged some since then and other circumstances might have affected your health. You and your partner’s fertility might have changed since then. Even if that is the case, there are plenty of options to help you conceive, such as in vitro fertilisation, but these approaches take time and money, so it’s important to address whether they are necessary ahead of time. If you are able to conceive, you may want to still think about how well your body can handle bringing a baby to term, especially if you have had difficult pregnancies in the past.
Considering careers and budgets
Another reality you have to reckon with is that having another child isn’t quite as simple as “doing it all over again.” Every child changes your budget drastically since you’re still paying for your other children’s needs. It’s also adding another heaping of responsibility, one that might mean you have to think about your careers. Is someone going to have to take an extended time off or to step away from their career for the foreseeable? Don’t leave this conversation for too long.
What if you disagree?
It’s unfortunate, but does happen, and more often than you think. If you want another baby but your partner does not, it can open a rather big conflict. It’s important to make sure that doesn’t happen because, no matter what, keeping the relationship strong is crucial for any kids you do have. Respect your partner’s reasons and make sure yours are heard, too. Even if you don’t agree right now, give it time, one of you might come to the others’ way of thinking. It’s just important that you have the room to do so.
Whatever your decision, it’s important that it’s thought out and takes into account the realities of both family life and other realities.